Buy me a coffee?

(or the agony of asking for money for doing something that no one asked you to do)

I’m two people inside, well, probably many more actually but that would take us down a rabbit hole no one needs to visit. One of me is confident, assured and has heard, really heard, from people I respect, that I can write and that people enjoy reading what I write and that some people are even willing to pay to read my work. The other me, predictably - you don’t need a psychology degree to figure it out - is cringing and embarrassed by even thinking of asking for filthy lucre because surely I am middle class, have a house, a car, a husband with a job, so how very dare I want more? I mean, I could just buy less lattes, no? I should just sit and knit, and be content with my lot, write as a hobby if I must but for heaven’s sake… yada yada.

So it has taken a little ball of courage which I have screwed up in to a bit of mess but still managed to swallow and I have added an option to pay to subscribe here on my substack account, you may have seen the buttons, I am still unsure what you all see on the emails I send. I have tech ability which dissolves at a certain point past which there is a vacuum (I love that word, vacuum). This vacuum appeared shortly after I set up a link tree account to facilitate a ‘buy me a coffee’ account which is accessed via stripe which is one of those money places that moves money around, all of them taking a sliver off each transaction because that is their purpose and because they have enormous confidence themselves.

So, if you’d like to ‘buy me a (quite expensive as it turns out) coffee’ rather than committing to reading every little thing I post on here please click HERE and thank you. I hope it works!

How I take my coffee, in case you’re interested.

I would like to announce that two people have signed up to pay on here. One is a relative, one completely unknown to me and apparently living in Australia. To both I say a hearty and truly heartfelt THANK YOU. Seriously, I am very grateful and moved by such faith in me. Also a bit nervous because now I have to actually produce something worth reading instead of wittering.

How about I give you a recipe?

My mother’s funeral was a few weeks ago now. A wonderful, warm, heart filling pocket of time that I am weirdly missing. I felt a reconnection with family in a way that I haven’t for years, probably since I was about 9.

Despite being a catholic family, then, we have Jewish roots which my mother was always keen to acknowledge so we celebrated Passover as well as Easter and knew no sort of contradictions in that. As a family we sang a song called Shalom Chaverim, which is a peace and/or farewell song, sung in rounds. My mother really wanted us to be another Von Trapp family, and while we did get a few songs under our belts disappointingly we were no match for that dirndl and lederhosen wearing tribe.

To reference this Jewish connection we sang Shalom during the ‘communion’, or rather the sharing of bread which was part of the service. The bread was Challah - a Jewish bread that is a little like a brioche. “The word challah originally meant only the small portion of dough that was put in the oven when baking bread as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.” I am not sure why that is a reminder of the destruction of a temple, but anyway, my brother Barny and I made some for this service in memory of our Mum. Although actually it became a much more involved, time and people rich process than planned due to the logistics of getting it to from Wales to Yorkshire to be baked freshly on the day of the funeral.

It began at the kitchen table, as so many good things do - measuring, weighing, whisking, mixing and puzzling and in the end deciding that the first proving would be overnight in the back of Barny’s car. Then the bashing back down of the deliciously bubbling ferment would take place at his digs near Hebden Bridge where he was staying with four of his children. This unsuspecting crew were then roped into the plaiting, second proving, the egg washing and the baking accompanied by Taylor Swift because everyone, even Barny, is a Swiftie these days.

However, if you are just a normal person who likes to bake rest assured there is absolutely no need for you to take the dough to Yorkshire, dance to Taylor Swift or enlist the help of four extra people. This is a gorgeous recipe for a soft, luscious bread that looks as good as it tastes and will impress everyone, and I mean everyone. I expect you can also make a vegan version but I have to admit I haven’t tried - if anyone has done so successfully I’d love to know.

I love that this bread contains honey and olive oil, both ingredients as old as time and linked to so many cultures, especially in the middle east, woven into recipes over the ages giving weight and history to each bite. It definitely felt that way as we chewed our torn off bits, trying not to spit crumbs while singing Shalom - goodbye to our Mum and Peace for the world.

This recipe comes straight from the New York Times website by Claire Saffitz because it’s the one we used and it’s fantastic - it even has a really good video to help you get your head around doing a six strand plait with the dough. My only niggle is the use of ‘proofing’ where I would say ‘proving’. I love the use of the word 'preferment though, as though it’s a preferred choice, when actually it’s just the ferment before the main ferment. It is also quite heavy on things like measuring the temperature inside with a thermometer, which needless to say we did not do. It’s a lot of work but it is worth it.

Challah

Yield: 1 large loaf

FOR THE PREFERMENT

1 teaspoon active dry yeast

11⁄4 cups/169 grams bread flour

FOR THE DOUGH

1⁄2 cup/72 grams golden raisins (optional) - we did not use any raisins

1⁄3 cup/113 grams honey

1⁄3 cup/75 grams extra- virgin olive oil

1 large egg yolk, at room temperature

2 large eggs, at room temperature, plus 1 beaten egg, for egg wash

3 cups/405 grams bread flour, plus more for kneading the dough

11 grams kosher salt (about 1 tablespoon Maldon salt)

Poppy or sesame seeds, for sprinkling (optional)

PREPARATION

Step 1

Make the preferment: In a medium bowl, combine the yeast and 1⁄4 cup/57 grams warm tap water (100 to 110 degrees), and whisk until the yeast is dissolved. Add another 1⁄2 cup/113 grams room temperature water and the bread flour, and stir with a flexible spatula or bowl scraper until you have a smooth, pasty mixture with no dry spots. It should look like a thick batter.

Step 2

Scrape the mixture into the center of the bowl and cover tightly. Let the preferment sit at room temperature until it’s nearly tripled in size, extremely bubbly across the surface, and jiggles on the verge of collapsing when the bowl is shaken, 1 to 2 hours (depending on the ambient temperature).

Step 3

If making a raisin-studded challah, while the preferment is getting bubbly, place the raisins in a medium bowl and cover with boiling water. Cover the bowl and let the raisins soak until they’re plumped and softened, 15 to 20 minutes. Drain the raisins, pat them dry, and set aside.

Step 4

Mix the dough: In a medium bowl, whisk together the honey, olive oil, the yolk and 2 of the eggs until smooth, then add to the bowl with the preferment. Add the bread flour and salt. Use a flexible spatula or bowl scraper to stir the mixture, making sure to scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl to incorporate the preferment, until a shaggy dough comes together.

Step 5

Knead the dough: Generously flour the work surface, then scrape the dough and any floury bits out of the bowl and onto the surface (reserve the bowl). Generously flour the dough. Use the heel of your hands to knead the dough, adding flour as needed if the dough is sticking to your hands or the surface, until the dough is very smooth, elastic and slightly tacky, 10 to 15 minutes. (You can also combine everything in a stand mixer and mix on low speed with the dough hook for 8 to 10 minutes, adding more flour as needed until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl.)

Step 6

Test the dough: Pinch off a golf ball-size piece and flatten it with your fingertips. Stretch the dough outward in all directions gently and slowly: You should be able to form a sheet of dough that’s thin enough to allow light to pass through without tearing. If the dough tears, continue kneading. For a raisin-studded challah, use your hands to flatten the dough into a 1-inch-thick slab (the shape doesn’t matter) and scatter the drained raisins over the dough. Roll up the dough and gather it back into a ball, then knead until the raisins are distributed throughout.

Step 7

Let the dough rise: Gather the dough into a smooth ball, dust lightly with flour and place back in the reserved bowl. Cover and let the dough sit in a warm spot until it’s doubled in size, 1 to 2 hours (depending on the ambient temperature).

Step 8

Divide the dough: Punch down the dough inside the bowl to expel the gasses that built up during the first rise, then scrape the dough out onto a clean work surface. For a braided loaf, use a bench scraper or knife to divide the dough into 6 equal pieces. (You can eyeball it, or weigh the pieces for accuracy — each piece should weigh 180 to 190 grams.) For a round loaf, divide the dough in half.

Step 9

Braid or twist the dough: For a braid, roll each of the 6 pieces into snakes measuring about 18 inches long and slightly tapered at the ends. Dust the strands in flour to coat them lightly, then line them up so they’re side by side. Pinch together the ends of the strands to connect them at the top.

Step 10

Take the strand on the far right and cross it over the other strands, so it’s all the way on the far left side, placing it perpendicular to the other strands. Then, take the strand that was originally on the far left, and is now second from the left, and bring it all the way to the far right, also placing it perpendicularly.

Step 11

Fan out the remaining strands so there’s a generous space in the center. Take the strand on the far left and bring it to the center, but group it with the strands on the right. Next, bring the strand that’s second from the right and cross it over to the far left, also placing it perpendicular. Then, fan out the strands again, leaving a space in the center, and bring the strand on the far right to the center, grouping it with the strands on the left. Bring the strand second from the left to the far right and cross it over to the far left. Then, repeat this process until you’ve braided the entire length of the strands, tugging gently on the strands as you work to create tension in the braid. Pinch the ends of the braids and tuck them underneath the loaf, then transfer to a parchment-lined sheet pan. Make sure you have a couple of inches of clearance on either side of the braid so it can expand.

Step 12

Alternatively, for a round, roll the two pieces of dough into long snakes measuring about 28 inches long, making sure to taper the snakes at one end. Dust the strands in flour to coat them lightly, then line them up so they’re side by side with the tapered ends aligned. Twist the two strands together, then start at the tapered end and roll up the twist into a tight coil, wrapping the fatter end around and tucking the end underneath the coil. Transfer the coil to a parchment- lined sheet pan.

Step 13

Egg wash and proof the dough: Beat the remaining egg in a small bowl until it’s streak-free. Brush the loaf with the egg, then loosely cover the dough with some lightly oiled plastic wrap (we used oiled grease proof paper) on a sheet pan, and let it rise at room temperature until it’s doubled in size, extremely puffy, and springs back but holds a slight indentation when poked gently with a wet finger, another 11⁄2 to 2 hours (but possibly longer, depending on ambient temperature). The dough is easy to underproof, so, if you’re unsure, err on the side of overproofing. (The round loaf will also take longer to proof.) Alternatively, before proofing, you can refrigerate the dough overnight, but omit the egg wash and make sure it’s covered (plastic should cover it loosely but be sealed around the pan so the dough doesn't dry out).

Step 14

Heat the oven: Arrange a rack in the center of the oven and heat it to 350 degrees (180 centigrade/160 for a fan oven or Gas 4).

Step 15

Bake: Uncover the challah and brush with another layer of egg wash. Sprinkle the loaf with poppy or sesame seeds (if using) and bake until the loaf is shiny and burnished, an instant-read thermometer registers 190 degrees when inserted into the center, and it sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom, 35 to 40 minutes. Let the challah cool completely on the baking sheet.

TIP

The challah, stored in a paper bag at room temperature, will keep for 4 days. It benefits from toasting after the first day.