It’s a funny thing, that thing that makes the creative thing inside you dry up when you finally say ok, I’m going to do this thing. In this instance it’s writing, that’s the creative thing I want to do. I’ve been doing a bit more lately anyway, essays on substack, mostly about my mother who has just died (in case this is the first post of mine you have read), always with a food element, because that’s my work.
I was asked to write an obituary for my mother for a the Tablet, a Catholic journal my mother has interacted with and written for over the years, and had some lovely feedback on that. None of this is paid of course. It does rather beg the question that if the most interesting thing about me is my mother then what will I write about now? Here, obviously, I am straining my ears for a chorus of ‘noooo, you’re absolutely fascinating, all by yourself…’ from dear loyal friends and family.
So anyway, I sat down to write and guess what? Blank. I get great ideas in the car, always, without fail. Then of course they whoosh out of my brain and the car window with the olive pit or road rage I’m spitting out.
It was my husband’s birthday yesterday. It was mine last Tuesday. We are both feeling really crappy, although mending, from a post funeral super spreader cold or other nasty virus. It’s not covid. Both birthdays were low key although mine did involve tacos which were excellent. Russell’s involved sausages and a baked potato (his request), followed by Fury Road (also his request), the sequel/prequel to Furiosa. People are surprised that I like these films, and I really do, they are such good stories, the character’s characters outweighing the need for clever script although that is there too, lots of tension, good female roles, excellent baddies. Also it’s worth noting that the world is closer to this kind of collapse and insanity than the creators of the original Mad Max could ever imagine.
The week after the funeral was supposed to be time out, for me at least, and a bit of birthday lightness after such an emotional juggernaut. Russell was due to do some training courses in Bristol while I was to mooch about seeing people and doing whatever it is people do after burying their parent, but the courses got postponed. He decided, sensibly, to cancel his leave and go back to normal work instead. So I decided to come back home too, and then, oh, well this really boring isn’t it?
Suffice to say despite feeling like I had swallowed the Sahara desert while simultaneously having my head in vice I saw the most wonderful art in London, Sargent and Fashion, which the Guardian hated, and I get it - reducing him to a painter of frocks is absurd, but luckily there is much more to him and this than that. I also visited great great aunty Adele who looks like my niece Abigail. Plus I visited the ‘Now You See Us’ exhibition - women artists through the ages, obviously overlooked mostly, which filled my visual soul bucket with joy. A joy tinged with sadness because my mother would have loved both.
I then had dinner with my husband and dear friends at Wilson’s in Bristol which was just utter gourmand indulgence - masterful skills in the kitchen with an effervescent host chef who loved telling the story of each tiny, perfectly constructed little dish.
So it was time out, with lots of joy and soul food, for the eyes and stomach, but reduced and patchy, without the space I had hoped for. We came home on Saturday to chilly winds and torrential rain, only to have the sun appear the next day as though nothing untoward had happened at all, here we are, June as usual. A bit like Spooky the cat who rolled off the step by accident this morning, collecting herself quickly, licking a paw and looking around to make sure no-one had noticed, spotting me noticing and raising a you-know-nothing feline eyebrow.
I have wondered a lot lately why it is so cold at the moment and completely baffled as to why no one in the news was mentioning it - then this , so now I know.
Monday… and I am getting back into some sort of groove. This week’s workshop with Ein Cegin is based around numeracy, as a way to fund the group really. So weighing, measuring, checking temperatures etc is what it is all about. Which is tricky when both Flow, my partner in this workshop, and I are from the that-looks-about-right school of cooking. But, in the spirit of the thing and to fulfil a request for a portable health snack/breakfast I found a recipe for cheesy corn muffins. I added spinach to give an extra healthy bit. It was frozen because when I decided to shop for ingredients it was past 4pm on a Sunday and we all know what that means, but it works nonetheless. These are really good. Recipe below (credit Taming Twins ).
On the subject of cold (I really really hate being cold) why is it always so bloody cold in supermarkets? Because their chillers have no doors on. Apparently my local Tesco has a new ‘eco’ chilling system, according to ‘a manager’ so they don't need doors. When I mentioned being really cold every time I go in the response ‘ we haven’t had anyone complain before’, so it’s just me then? It is so mind numbingly stupid to have chiller units blasting their icy air into our faces in these places that, let’s face it, already resemble morgues with their tragic pale pastries wrapped in shrouds of non-recyclable plastic film. Better Food Company (how an indy store does it PROPERLY), the Co-op and Aldi have managed to put doors on, so why can’t the BIG megalop shops? If not for the planet (because obviously profits come before saving our only home - I expect Tesco shareholders all have bunkers for the mad max era to come) then for their electricity bills? The argument against is that people will find opening doors off putting. I mean, really?
Anyway.
Cheesy Corn Muffins
Ingredients
Dry ingredients
250 g Self raising flour
1 tsp Baking powder
1 tsp Salt
200 g grated cheese
160 g tinned sweetcorn, drained
25 g spring onions chopped finely
Wet ingredients
2 Eggs Beaten
100 ml Oil Sunflower or vegetable
250 ml Milk Semi skimmed or whole milk
Optional
Spinach, red onion, cooked bacon, peppers - whatever takes your fancy really
Method
Preheat the oven to 200C (180 fan/gas 6)
Brush the inside of a muffin tin well with oil or use paper cups (to which the muffin may stick a bit but it makes it more portable)
Mix all of the dry ingredients in one bowl.
Whisk all of the wet ingredients in a bowl or jug until well mixed.
Add the wet mixture into the dry and mix until totally combined. Don't over mix.
Mix in or top with extras is you like - in this instance I added a teaspoon of defrosted spinach.
Scoop into the 12 muffin holes/cups - in this instance I added a teaspoon of defrosted spinach.
Bake for 20 - 25 minutes or until golden brown.
I would consider using wholemeal flour for this, adding some oats or seeds to for extra texture and health benefits. Also maybe use feta cheese for a more tangy version. They freeze well too.
So much painterly power in those garments draped over resting bodies. I love your asides. Your love of nourishing others. Your observations of daily life.
My own culinary Furiosa when it comes to big Supers! And you are fascinating all on your own. Wilson was sublime and we've had some really naff tasting menu meals lately. This meal was worth every penny. The muffis are good too. Check 'em out.